Tag Archives: Thoughts

What I Learned from Losing My Car

Life, That Time When, ,

I was on the phone with The Mister when my heart skipped multiple beats as I saw the empty parking lot where my car supposed to be parked. I exclaimed, ‘The car’s not here!’.

I was borderline frantic – ‘I couldn’t have parked anywhere else! This is where I park day in and out!’, I said in annoyance and anger when The Mister suggested if I had parked elsewhere. I walked rather clumsily down the slope to a lower level, and still no car.

The Mister probably thought, here we go, another Thara-moment but he calmly and courteously told me to try look in the level above my designated parking spot.

There, it was – clamped, because I had parked at another resident’s spot for three full days. After burning a RM200 hole in my pocket, unclamping and moving back the car where it belonged, I gave this incident a long thought.

A colleague turned friend pointed out, ‘Really, you thought it was stolen? Like what are the chances, considering the security and downright better options for cars to be hijacked at your place!’. Right – my logic reasoning must’ve shut-off involuntarily. Why was I even annoyed at The Mister for trying to suggest I look at a different level.

The great Master Oogway is absolutely right – ‘The mind is like water. When agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear.’ Someone quoted this to me several months back, and suddenly it clicked to me. This has been the evil root to most of my tribulations, especially professionally, in the past year.

I got worked up unnecessarily. And man, was it exhaustive to live a life (read: work life) constantly in anger, dissatisfaction and having to be defensive. Although it was generally situations worth frowning upon, in some instances, there were simpler solutions and things were not that big of a deal as I’d thought.

I looked at it all as a big mountain to conquer, and lost myself in a massive plane crash of To-Do lists in my brain with emotional thunderstorms. These days I’m more (trying to be) calm and I look at things rather objectively.

This write up may not be one that you expected, a funny anecdote of how I lost my car. This is simply a reminder to myself (and others) who need to hear this : When it seems like the sky is falling on you, just take a step back, calm the shit down and look at the bigger picture. Don’t bark at people who’re simply trying to be of help. You’ll figure it out.

Also looking for career alternatives – you think I got what it takes to be a new age therapist. Hit me up for unsolicited advices and hard truths about life, Asian style.

First Job : Expectations vs Reality

Life, , ,

This week marked my seventh month on my first very ‘real’ job after graduating (if you don’t count my Dobby moments in the Nair household). I finally got my permanent name tag instead of the laminated ‘Probationary Pass’. I had my salary adjusted for confirmation. I undoubtedly learned more things in the past seven months than I would have in two academic semesters. So, what brings me to write this is the monkey which lives in my mind, constantly creating problems and stirring thoughts. So, here it goes, expectations versus reality of my first job.

1.Trust me, I am an engineer.

Graduating from one of the top engineering schools in the country, surviving through lots of projects and papers, 8 months of internship (mine was 9 months, mind you, because my supervisor loved me plenty and asked me to extend, and later enslaved me with documentation for that extra month), I thought I finally was ready for work. *Too long of a sentence, that I missed my point there.* So, the point is that after graduating, I kinda thought that I am finally this engineer who’s ready to take on the world. That little bubble I was in got crushed soon after. When a 56 year old operator uncle with less than high school qualification explains about wastewater treatment processes to you, and you’re trying not to look too confused, that was the end of ‘Trust me, I am an engineer’.

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My first job has taught me that to trust myself as an engineer takes years and years of experience. Trust me not yet, I am learning to be an engineer.

2. I will be rich. 

When I was younger *clears throat*, I used to think that engineers earned a lot. During  final year, in that annual career fair, they distributed a book, ‘Salary Guide in Malaysia 2016‘. I merely rolled my eyes as I saw the figures, thinking graduating from a school with wild boars, pontianaks and drugs would land me higher income anyways *insert haha*. Well, news! That salary guide happen to be true. PTPTN started sending blackmail emails. I had to pay for that red car that brings me around. I decided to continue with school. I have to pay RM 5 for company’s Sports Club. On my first payday, I was happy.  I splurged on myself and others. These days I just watch my bank balance shrinking within 4 days of payday.  I’m  caught between saving and spending. I’m not poor, no. But I kinda thought I’ll be richer?

My first job has taught me the truth behind, “You’ll only know the value of money when you start earning it yourself”. Yes, guys, Amma is almost always right.

3. Pursuing Passion

I wrote a complete list of what I wanted to do after graduating.  From dance classes, to picking up my bow and violin again, to learning new languages, freelance writing, teaching tuition classes, and list goes on and on. What really happened was, I got home from work, showered and slept before 9 pm. The last time I completed a book I picked up was in January. I slept at any chance I got. I can sniff your mockery, Rice! Well, it’s a bit unfair for me to say that my first job made me lose my passion. I also have an equal share for procrastination and being lazy, I must say. It’s just that 9-5 drains me both mentally and physically. All I want to do is to hit the bed at the end of the day. In the past week, I’ve been improving slightly, solely because I have no other choice.

My first job taught me why most adults become boring people. They are just tired. If I wanted more out of life, I must stop whining and work for it. 

4. I’ll be lovin’ it.

What do engineers do? Wear coveralls (I have a thing for coveralls, idk why!), work on site, do calculations and stuff, right? Some days I spend hours to decide on where to strategically locate all the tong sampahs in Operations area. I spend hours preparing slides for presentation and writing summary reports. On my lucky days, I get to learn about processes and think hard about improving environmental performance. Some days, I lie in bed dreading as I watch the alarm ringing. On Sunday nights, as I iron my uniform, I mourn for myself. Am I going to be doing this for the next 30 years? The idea that this is the person I am going to have to be taunts me. Is it the same in other organisations or am I the unlucky one? I don’t know what seems to be the problem, me or my job, or both. And then, out of the blue, some days I just wake up excitedly for work. It’s like my mind zaps from one channel to another. It’s probably symptoms of quarter life crisis. One day, I blurted out to my uncle, ‘You told us to study hard to land a good job. But look at me now’. He answered, ‘You have a good job. I don’t see a problem’. I just kept quiet, rethinking my life choices.

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My first job has taught me how much I should have appreciated campus life. You see, no one could thumb in on your behalf on your bad days. You just have to suck it up and turn up for work. 

This piece is vastly inspired by my current phase of life, obviously. I don’t mean to state that your first job would be a grief (I’m not even sure if mine is, actually). Some people seemed to be genuinely happy. Whether you love it or don’t, just remember it’s just a phase. Try to learn as much as possible, wherever you are.  We will all see better days. We will, right?

3 Reasons Why Online Articles Are Actually Messed Up

Thoughts, ,

Well, it’s a lil hypocritical and ironical that I’m also telling you how online article are messed via an online article, but you wouldn’t roll your eyes, would you? We are forgiving netizens, aren’t we?

So, what inspired me to write this piece is that abundance of online articles on Facebook and Twitter these days. Abundance doesn’t even do justice to the number of articles appearing on our feeds these days. Perhaps like “bagai cendawan tumbuh selepas hujan“? (Suguz would be proud of me if he read this!). I used to be a junkie who clicked open almost every article I saw on my FB and Twitter feed. How do you resist if the title says, “22 Things Every 22 Year Olds Should Know”.  As it is, I was absent when the “How To Survive Adulthood” reference book was secretly distributed (Please give me a copy if you have it!). I definitely wouldn’t miss these free life consultations, eye opening advice that this writer who has a Sports Science degree is going to tell me.  Right?

Wrong! Not too be brutal to these articles or anything, but sometimes in midst of us indulging in these articles,but here are 3 ways how online articles are actually messing up our lives :

1.Expectations

When you read an article about ’10 Ways Real Man Treats His Girl’ or ‘5 Ways If You Are Dating The One’, it subconsciously messes you up for worse. You read that fifth sentence and it says, “He shares his food with you.”. You pause staring at that line, and try to recall if bae had shared his favourite mutton briyani with you. And you start panicking! He ate up every grain all by himself.

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Definitely failed Item#5 of Bae For Life checklist. 😛

Oh, no. Now you go on to the next point, it says, “He always plans for your dates.”. Another bummer, you were always the one who had to plan on where to go, what to eat. So, is he The One? *sends link of article to bae, for reference* 

Subconsciously, the next time you go out for a date, you insist to go his favourite restaurant just to see if he offers you a bite, (he would if he had read that article), but if he doesn’t that’s a big No-No because Item#10 on that article said that, “He would genuinely care to open every link you send him.”

2. Fitting in Moulds

If you are like me, an almost horoscope addict, you would also find articles like “ How Every Zodiac Sign Ruins Their Own Life Without Even Trying To” or “5 Things To Be Aware if You are a Virgo”. You don’t think twice and click it open. It has a list of how, based on your horoscope sign, you would potentially end up in poverty if you aren’t too careful. Or how your personality should be determined by your birth time. As much a I am fascinated with reading horoscopes, I find that these articles are somewhat stereotyping. Most of these articles tend to pre-define how a set of people are.  These articles create a mindset that we all belong in groups, in clusters. And that we should exhibit the same characteristics. We aren’t chemical compounds, for God’s sake. You and I don’t have to belong in a group, just because we have the same horoscope sign or because our parents are Asians. We are all different, that’s the beauty of us, no?

3. Bandwagon Syndrome

This is generally related to keeping up with the trend. Well, it’s no harm that we are want to be dressed in a trendy way, or eat at that famous choc-yucky place. What could do worse damage is trying to keep up in life, as what’s trending. 10 years back, being a founder of start-ups and travelling were not the measure of happiness. In recent years however, it seems like we can only be happy if we quit our 9-5 job and travel the world. Online articles definitely is one of the culprit that somehow keep pushing people into these preconceived notions. Am I supposed to be less happy because I have no grudge about my oh-so-boring 9-5?  Like I said in the above, we all have different preferences. How does that articles even warranty your happiness if you quit your job, and decide to be a full time blogger, in hopes to receive free Pampers samples for your unborn child. (Okay, you probably had to read twice to get that! :P)

While some of us may claim that we are all adults, and how we don’t live by every little piece of information  we see. But, I really do feel that somehow, when there’s plenty of articles, and every single one of it says almost the same kinda things, you start doubting yourself. I have to also shamelessly add that, I too read these articles and smile sheepishly when I see something that matches. But, it seems like writers are desperately out of content, because more and more articles are purely nonsensical. If a writer comes up with things like “Things Your Ex Was Afraid to Tell You Based on Your Horoscope Sign“,  you know how these people deserve the Balderdash Award. Let me not even get started with those articles with misleading titles (such cheap trick to get people to click on them!). The once-upon-a-time glorified internet, is slowly turning into a trash can we have to scavenger through to get some valuables.

Do comment on some of the worst things you have read online. We can share a laugh. 😀