Tag Archives: real life stories

Status : Just Married

Life, Thoughts, , ,

Almost 90% of my conversations in the past 49 days have started with, ended with or has had hints of ‘How is married life?’. Yes, naturally so, I guess – but it’s such a mind-boggling question to answer to.

I am usually rather quick to put words together, but this question really catches me off guard, every single time. I change my answers in an attempt to find one that really would put it rightly – and am yet to find any satisfactory reply.

Thank goodness for this rainy chilly weather, and The Mister’s forty minutes of futile attempt to connect a laptop to his precious-oversized Samsung TV wirelessly – I finally gave it a thought, on how married life has been.

So far, married life with The Mister has comprised of :

Curious Case of the Comforter

For context, I’m a grumpy sleep-person.

On warm nights, when I break free – The Mister dutifully (and sweetly?) pulls over the comforter for me. I grumble.

On cold nights, he wraps himself with the comforter, I get cold – and yes, I grumble and struggle to steal it back. Also, for context, he’s a giant.

We discuss this matter in length, for days. *face palm* The Mister even went on to conduct an experiment, unknown to me. One time, he wrapped me in comforter when he woke up to watch a match and came back to find me ninja-ed out of the comforter. Next morning, he gleefully presented photographic evidence.

Adulting

I have lived alone in different cities away from family for some time now – but interdependency is a whole new level. Our ideas and preferences clash – so it’s been lots of discussion, Excels and timelines.

We make lots of plans for weekly market visits, what-to-eats, weekend to-dos and date nights. We then (sometimes) sit on our couch, ask ourselves what’s the plan, all over again. Some days are super-productive, some days we transfigure into sloths.

Like all twenty-somethings who are adulting, we do ‘happy’ things – like rewarding ourselves trip to theme park, and buying things that keep the child in us alive.

Damages (read : happy things) so far include a Shrek cap that comes with ogre-ears, two Jurassic Park mugs, a paper Christmas tree, miniature of 1970 Dodge Charge which Dom Toretto drove in Fast franchise, real-plants (mint, curry leaves and Japanese roses), matching Bumblebee T-shirts, large dew-shaped (faced) pillow, flower pot shaped with dangling string legs and … and by this point, I’m questioning the adulting.

So, to answer the question : How is married life?

It has been awesome – filled with conversations over nothings and every-things. I appreciate presence of The Mister (on most days) – and it’s been like living with my best friend with some obvious additional perks *cough cough*.

My phone time has reduced so much that I have left more and more messages unread. I have my own Volta Futsal team on FIFA 22. I have a patient partner to watch our wedding trailer for the n-th time, just because it makes me all giddy.

I know life’s no bed of roses, but these past forty-nine days have been – so I’m just going to archive it here as a pick-me-up (if required).

Here, I think I have a better answer now for the dreaded question. But it comes to mind, maybe this is far more answerable question than ‘Any good news?’. 😑

Newly married, still just-kids ourselves. 😛

What I Learned from Losing My Car

Life, That Time When, ,

I was on the phone with The Mister when my heart skipped multiple beats as I saw the empty parking lot where my car supposed to be parked. I exclaimed, ‘The car’s not here!’.

I was borderline frantic – ‘I couldn’t have parked anywhere else! This is where I park day in and out!’, I said in annoyance and anger when The Mister suggested if I had parked elsewhere. I walked rather clumsily down the slope to a lower level, and still no car.

The Mister probably thought, here we go, another Thara-moment but he calmly and courteously told me to try look in the level above my designated parking spot.

There, it was – clamped, because I had parked at another resident’s spot for three full days. After burning a RM200 hole in my pocket, unclamping and moving back the car where it belonged, I gave this incident a long thought.

A colleague turned friend pointed out, ‘Really, you thought it was stolen? Like what are the chances, considering the security and downright better options for cars to be hijacked at your place!’. Right – my logic reasoning must’ve shut-off involuntarily. Why was I even annoyed at The Mister for trying to suggest I look at a different level.

The great Master Oogway is absolutely right – ‘The mind is like water. When agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear.’ Someone quoted this to me several months back, and suddenly it clicked to me. This has been the evil root to most of my tribulations, especially professionally, in the past year.

I got worked up unnecessarily. And man, was it exhaustive to live a life (read: work life) constantly in anger, dissatisfaction and having to be defensive. Although it was generally situations worth frowning upon, in some instances, there were simpler solutions and things were not that big of a deal as I’d thought.

I looked at it all as a big mountain to conquer, and lost myself in a massive plane crash of To-Do lists in my brain with emotional thunderstorms. These days I’m more (trying to be) calm and I look at things rather objectively.

This write up may not be one that you expected, a funny anecdote of how I lost my car. This is simply a reminder to myself (and others) who need to hear this : When it seems like the sky is falling on you, just take a step back, calm the shit down and look at the bigger picture. Don’t bark at people who’re simply trying to be of help. You’ll figure it out.

Also looking for career alternatives – you think I got what it takes to be a new age therapist. Hit me up for unsolicited advices and hard truths about life, Asian style.

Cracked

The Mister, ,

When I was twelve, the new head teacher made all the girl prefects wear long skirts as uniform. On the day I walked to receive my badge as Head Girl, I tripped and fell in the assembly.

Months later, I was wearing a green baju kurung Kedah on Hari Anugerah Cemerlang. I tripped on the steps, while climbing on stage to receive the Tokoh Pelajar award.

At the age of 15, I would’ve tripped at almost every drain around the school. While in university, when I used to ride my bicycle to classes and library. On my way back, I would lose control downhill near the road between V1 and V2; and have fallen more times than I could admit. I drop my phone 3 times a day, (still).

My mother still nags me to be careful at work. When I tell her I climb tall structures, she worries. My safety helmet has saved me from knocking into pipes multiple times. By now, I must’ve convinced you what a clumsy, Humpty Dumpty I am.

So, just like my mother, The Mister has been self-appointed to point out (and nag me) about my clumsiness. He shrugs every time my phone takes a plunge, or  and give me the I-told-you-to-be-careful look when I trip.

But, guess who broke the screen of their 3-month-old Huawei P30 Pro just TWO days before the warranty ended? Which brings us to why does The Mister has a new phone in the first place? Because his previous less-than-a-year-old Samsung also had his screen cracked.

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Happy face because he has a screen insurance for SGD46 to break it for ONE more time!  

I’ll just end this post, with a smirk on my face.

That Time When Facebook Made Me Cry

Life, People, ,

I have a love-hate relationship with the ‘On This Day’ function on Facebook. Sometimes I screenshot and have a good laugh with The Mister. Other times, I cringe a little (okay, maybe a lot), when I read comments and posts of younger me. Today, however, I had all sorts of emotions flooding me. As I type this post, I am not even sure if I should be writing this post.

Back when I was in Primary One, we used to sit with our tables combined, six in a group. On my right, sat a boy whose name was S. He was one of my first friends in primary school.  He had a sister, 3 years older, who was in my sister’s class, and maybe that’s how we actually became friends by default. To be honest, I do not remember any of the conversations we had, but we hung out a lot. It’s all blurry to me now.

Sometimes, his nose would bleed profusely. He’d have blood stains all over his uniform. It has happened more than once. Teachers would help him get cleaned, and I was always the one who was instructed to buy him some food from the canteen. In Standard 2, we no longer sat beside each other. But, we’d still play with erasers, go for our prefects’ duties, leave class early for recess, together.

He shifted school in Primary 4, and I did not see him again till Primary 6. We met at the Leadership Camp for all primary head prefects from schools in Kuala Lumpur. He always jokingly said then, ‘Kalau aku kat SKSD, mesti aku tak jadi Ketua Pengawas’. After that, I sometimes met him in one competition or the other. The last time I met him in person was during a career competition in Form 4.

We became Facebook friends, and we’d randomly comment on each other’s post. We religiously wished each other on birthdays. We’d chat on Facebook messages, very rarely, but when we did, it’d be long conversation over nothings. He was one of those old friends, whom I was really glad to catch up with, but one who doesn’t cross my mind on ordinary days.

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And in 2012, on June 13th, I signed in on Facebook, and posted him birthday wishes, like I had been in the past few years. Then, this happened..

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I called my Mum, and cried that night. Today, another one of his random comments on Facebook popped up. Every time it happens, I somehow involuntarily relive that night, the night when I read that devastating comment on Facebook.

A Letter to My Younger Self (s)

Life, Thoughts, ,

Dear 4 Year Old Self,

Remember that night, when we were in the car heading to grandparents’ in Bahau. You were fast asleep in the car, when the Acca suddenly pressed the brake. You fell down, and hit your face on the car seat, and you cried in pain. Acca said,  a cow drove recklessly. You just nodded, and sat through the rest of the journey imagining a 4 legged animal driving a red car. A driving cow made your lips bleed.

No, Thara. Cows don’t drive cars. And the Moon doesn’t play hide and seek with you.

Dear 8 Year Old Self,

Remember that girl in school everyone made fun of, because she wasn’t quite right in the head? You too, did the same. You used to walk away if she sat somewhere near you inthe canteen or assembly. You thought she smelled funny. You even laughed about it with your friends. But she was always smiling, greeting everyone. Until, one day, she just wasn’t coming to school anymore. Teachers said she shifted to a different school, with a special class.

A few years later, you’ll see her, clad in secondary school uniform, walking with her mother by the road.  She smiles as she walked by. You sat in the car, with heaved heart and teary eyes. She was just trying to make friends. You should’ve been nice.

Dear 12 Year Old Self,

You thought you had it all. In fact, you felt superior to your peers. You were the school topper, Head Prefect, and you knew that the 2005 Tokoh Pelajar Award had your name written all over it. You enjoyed being in the limelight. And you just knew, you were destined for bigger things.

You didn’t know then that all the medals and certificates you took pride in would mean nothing to your purpose in life. And do not lend your books, especially Harry Potter to others! It’s funny how you were so clueless, yet confident and snobby.

Dear 16 Year Old Self,

By now, you learned that the world revolves around everything, but only you. When you get your exam results, you convince yourself, if you could do this good even without even trying hard, imagine what could happen if you worked as hard. That’s your recent area of expertise. To convince yourself, to come up with reasons and excuses. You aren’t doing as good you ought to, but you aren’t doing bad either? You had great friends, you were in the Top 10. You’ve still got some limelight, although you’re not in centre stage.

You just know that if only you put in some work, you’ll ace many things in life. Well, lemme just tell you, you never got around doing much. Neither did you become a freelance writer, nor did you become a Toastmaster. Nope, not even a scholarship. Maybe, I was meant to be just an average kinda person? Good bye, 12 Year Old Thara.

Dear 20 Year Old Self, 

One day, the only friend from school that you have on campus told you, ‘You’ve changed ahhh’. You used to put yourself first, before anything else’. Her words would be a knock in your head, how you used to love yourself. You would never do anything to harm/hurt your precious self. But you chose to ignore, just brushing off her comments. You just chose to not see things as they were. You got name called behind your back. People were talking. You were just not bothered. After all, they don’t know what was the real situation.

You were just covering up with other good things. You had just won a national competition. You were reading more than before. Your grades were falling, but you could do better if only you tried right? Just so you know, you were wrong. You should’ve listened to your sane self. Oh, and that boy who bought you soup noodles when you were sick? He will mean more to you, than just a friend with car.

Dear Me-Now,

Every bit of experiences you’ve had, has made you the person that you are now. That said, none of those define who you will be as a person. Maybe it’s time you dig up all your To-Do’s and little projects you had in mind, and get started.

No, you don’t need 12 hours of sleep on the only weekend you’ll have off until the semester’s over in January. You got this, girl!