Nobody prepared me for this. This, being the period from when you’re married and yet to deliver good news.

No, good news isn’t when you accomplish things at work and get recognitions. Good news has nothing to do with enjoying yourself on long-planned dream trip with your best-friend cum halal-husband. It’s also not good-enough-news when Red Devils won a Derby match, which you paid for heftily to watch in Old Trafford. GGMU – yay, nevertheless.

So, I’m writing this as a wedding gift to all new and not-so-new brides; inspired by very true stories. Oh yes, this is a click-bait. 😛

Baby Bump

On a very rare occasion that I did wear a dress to work – I chose to style it up a little, with a belt around my not-so-flat tummy. I was at a celebration with my friends & colleagues from my former plant. For context, I’ve not met anyone since my wedding since I relocated to across the Causeway.

Mr Hong Kong Man (in a very sweet tone) : Awwww, Thara – is that a baby bump, I see?

Me : Ermmm, hi Mr Hong Kong Man! Very nice to see you! Noooooooooo. I just found lots of places to eat in Singapore. (wide grin, high pitch laugh)

Mr Hong Kong Man : ………… Oh no! I’m so sorry! …. *more awkward silence – until I ran away to someplace I was not needed*

Poor Mr Hong Kong Man, I’m pretty sure he’s now traumatized for life. This was so hilarious because it really did seem to scar him more than me. This is someone that I really like & look up to. I’m thinking that I should meet him when I do get pregnant, just when I’m about to pop so that we can try the aforementioned conversation again – you know, for redemption.

Lesson #1 : Gain weight at your own risk post wedding – as it’s trickier to navigate. I’m also obliged to say, as a responsible writer-wannabe, take care of your health. I’m a hypocrite – work in progress.

Notes to self, 1) Either stick to my workout plan or get pregnant this year, whichever attainable. 2) Look in the mirror & ask myself, ‘Do I look pregnant in this?’.

Good News

On a not-so-fine day at work, I was getting bad refluxes which then exponentially got worse throughout the day making me puke multiple times. My engineer-turned-doctor work friends were troubleshooting me like any good professional would. They deduced as a matter of fact, that it can’t be food poisoning as I had same meals as The Mister, and he seemed fine.

Colleague L : You sure it’s not any good news?

Colleague A : I was about to say the same! Which is why I was asking the questions to be sure first.

To be honest, at this point, even I was like – is this it? It was as if Tsunami hit my brain. TMI – I know, but I checked, not once but twice.

Days later, my in-house Sherlock solved the case. I had greedily eaten a day’s old Roti Boy that I got from Ipoh without sharing with The Mister. Apparently, I ate the bun in two big bites as The Mister watched me from the other room, while I evil laughed at him. While I believe there may be some exaggeration to how I consumed the Roti Boy – it was crystal clear, what it was just that, a food poisoning.

Lesson #2 : If you’re about to eat old food, share it with someone (preferably your husband if you have one) for scientific reasons. Make sure you are able to recount all your meals for better data in case you need to be diagnosed for food poisoning – to avoid false alerts.

Good News (MVP)

While many people have asked me about good news in different tones, I have a notable winner who’s worth the honorable mention, from my temple visit last week.

Mr Kooky : Eppo pethu poda pore, un Appaku vilayada? (Translation : When are you giving birth, for your father to play with (the grandchild)?)

Me : Uhmmmmmm. Coming soon, Uncle.

Mr Kooky : It’s the circle of life. Finish it this year. Then continue, go for Number 2,3,4,5.

Me : *very very very awkward laugh, while the brain is hit with another Tsunami* Ok Uncle. Take care.

Lesson #3 : If you know the question is coming, like a responsible adult – run away!

Disclaimer :

This was written in humour & not to hurt anyone. Good news has been somehow theme of many of the conversations that I’ve been having in recent times. Please, do ask me about the good news – I’ll even send my Excel for better reference (seriously).