Category Archives: Thoughts

Baby Bump & Good News (Not)

Life, That Time When, Thoughts, ,

Nobody prepared me for this. This, being the period from when you’re married and yet to deliver good news.

No, good news isn’t when you accomplish things at work and get recognitions. Good news has nothing to do with enjoying yourself on long-planned dream trip with your best-friend cum halal-husband. It’s also not good-enough-news when Red Devils won a Derby match, which you paid for heftily to watch in Old Trafford. GGMU – yay, nevertheless.

So, I’m writing this as a wedding gift to all new and not-so-new brides; inspired by very true stories. Oh yes, this is a click-bait. 😛

Baby Bump

On a very rare occasion that I did wear a dress to work – I chose to style it up a little, with a belt around my not-so-flat tummy. I was at a celebration with my friends & colleagues from my former plant. For context, I’ve not met anyone since my wedding since I relocated to across the Causeway.

Mr Hong Kong Man (in a very sweet tone) : Awwww, Thara – is that a baby bump, I see?

Me : Ermmm, hi Mr Hong Kong Man! Very nice to see you! Noooooooooo. I just found lots of places to eat in Singapore. (wide grin, high pitch laugh)

Mr Hong Kong Man : ………… Oh no! I’m so sorry! …. *more awkward silence – until I ran away to someplace I was not needed*

Poor Mr Hong Kong Man, I’m pretty sure he’s now traumatized for life. This was so hilarious because it really did seem to scar him more than me. This is someone that I really like & look up to. I’m thinking that I should meet him when I do get pregnant, just when I’m about to pop so that we can try the aforementioned conversation again – you know, for redemption.

Lesson #1 : Gain weight at your own risk post wedding – as it’s trickier to navigate. I’m also obliged to say, as a responsible writer-wannabe, take care of your health. I’m a hypocrite – work in progress.

Notes to self, 1) Either stick to my workout plan or get pregnant this year, whichever attainable. 2) Look in the mirror & ask myself, ‘Do I look pregnant in this?’.

Good News

On a not-so-fine day at work, I was getting bad refluxes which then exponentially got worse throughout the day making me puke multiple times. My engineer-turned-doctor work friends were troubleshooting me like any good professional would. They deduced as a matter of fact, that it can’t be food poisoning as I had same meals as The Mister, and he seemed fine.

Colleague L : You sure it’s not any good news?

Colleague A : I was about to say the same! Which is why I was asking the questions to be sure first.

To be honest, at this point, even I was like – is this it? It was as if Tsunami hit my brain. TMI – I know, but I checked, not once but twice.

Days later, my in-house Sherlock solved the case. I had greedily eaten a day’s old Roti Boy that I got from Ipoh without sharing with The Mister. Apparently, I ate the bun in two big bites as The Mister watched me from the other room, while I evil laughed at him. While I believe there may be some exaggeration to how I consumed the Roti Boy – it was crystal clear, what it was just that, a food poisoning.

Lesson #2 : If you’re about to eat old food, share it with someone (preferably your husband if you have one) for scientific reasons. Make sure you are able to recount all your meals for better data in case you need to be diagnosed for food poisoning – to avoid false alerts.

Good News (MVP)

While many people have asked me about good news in different tones, I have a notable winner who’s worth the honorable mention, from my temple visit last week.

Mr Kooky : Eppo pethu poda pore, un Appaku vilayada? (Translation : When are you giving birth, for your father to play with (the grandchild)?)

Me : Uhmmmmmm. Coming soon, Uncle.

Mr Kooky : It’s the circle of life. Finish it this year. Then continue, go for Number 2,3,4,5.

Me : *very very very awkward laugh, while the brain is hit with another Tsunami* Ok Uncle. Take care.

Lesson #3 : If you know the question is coming, like a responsible adult – run away!

Disclaimer :

This was written in humour & not to hurt anyone. Good news has been somehow theme of many of the conversations that I’ve been having in recent times. Please, do ask me about the good news – I’ll even send my Excel for better reference (seriously).

Status : Just Married

Life, Thoughts, , ,

Almost 90% of my conversations in the past 49 days have started with, ended with or has had hints of ‘How is married life?’. Yes, naturally so, I guess – but it’s such a mind-boggling question to answer to.

I am usually rather quick to put words together, but this question really catches me off guard, every single time. I change my answers in an attempt to find one that really would put it rightly – and am yet to find any satisfactory reply.

Thank goodness for this rainy chilly weather, and The Mister’s forty minutes of futile attempt to connect a laptop to his precious-oversized Samsung TV wirelessly – I finally gave it a thought, on how married life has been.

So far, married life with The Mister has comprised of :

Curious Case of the Comforter

For context, I’m a grumpy sleep-person.

On warm nights, when I break free – The Mister dutifully (and sweetly?) pulls over the comforter for me. I grumble.

On cold nights, he wraps himself with the comforter, I get cold – and yes, I grumble and struggle to steal it back. Also, for context, he’s a giant.

We discuss this matter in length, for days. *face palm* The Mister even went on to conduct an experiment, unknown to me. One time, he wrapped me in comforter when he woke up to watch a match and came back to find me ninja-ed out of the comforter. Next morning, he gleefully presented photographic evidence.

Adulting

I have lived alone in different cities away from family for some time now – but interdependency is a whole new level. Our ideas and preferences clash – so it’s been lots of discussion, Excels and timelines.

We make lots of plans for weekly market visits, what-to-eats, weekend to-dos and date nights. We then (sometimes) sit on our couch, ask ourselves what’s the plan, all over again. Some days are super-productive, some days we transfigure into sloths.

Like all twenty-somethings who are adulting, we do ‘happy’ things – like rewarding ourselves trip to theme park, and buying things that keep the child in us alive.

Damages (read : happy things) so far include a Shrek cap that comes with ogre-ears, two Jurassic Park mugs, a paper Christmas tree, miniature of 1970 Dodge Charge which Dom Toretto drove in Fast franchise, real-plants (mint, curry leaves and Japanese roses), matching Bumblebee T-shirts, large dew-shaped (faced) pillow, flower pot shaped with dangling string legs and … and by this point, I’m questioning the adulting.

So, to answer the question : How is married life?

It has been awesome – filled with conversations over nothings and every-things. I appreciate presence of The Mister (on most days) – and it’s been like living with my best friend with some obvious additional perks *cough cough*.

My phone time has reduced so much that I have left more and more messages unread. I have my own Volta Futsal team on FIFA 22. I have a patient partner to watch our wedding trailer for the n-th time, just because it makes me all giddy.

I know life’s no bed of roses, but these past forty-nine days have been – so I’m just going to archive it here as a pick-me-up (if required).

Here, I think I have a better answer now for the dreaded question. But it comes to mind, maybe this is far more answerable question than ‘Any good news?’. 😑

Newly married, still just-kids ourselves. 😛

Mirror, Mirror, By My Side

The Mister, Thoughts,

‘It’s because you are lazy’. That’s what The Mister said, when we started brisk walking at the Neighbourhood Park. We had just climbed three flight of stairs to get to the park; and I was already panting as if I ran a marathon (not like I have the experience of that). He insisted that we should jog, ‘Come, slowly, jog!’.

I maintained that I cannot jog, my ankle hurt and I might die of shortness of breath.

‘But you cycled in the gym last time! You used to run, you can jog! You’re just lazy!’. Bugger called me lazy. Twice! I had enough.

‘When I say I can’t jog, that means I CANNOT’. I walked away, angrily, made 2 rounds in the park, still walking briskly, mentally mocking him and gave laser stares each time I passed by him. My Amma nags me much lesser than this man!

Two days later, we went for a jog, again. We set rules this time; that I will jog to the best of my ability and that he’ll be considerate and nice(r) while at it. I did try to jog; and we completed about 1.8 km of jogging before I gave up. Frankly, I could’ve continued. But I just didn’t feel like pushing it? So, I used my ‘side stitch’ excuse to get away. Maybe I was just lazy?

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Oh, the shame I feel typing this. 

 

 Earlier this week, The Mister casually commented, ‘You don’t read OR write these days, ah?’ I pretended not to hear that, sailed on to a different topic. I’m ninja like that when it comes to avoiding anything uncomfortable.

I did not think much of it all, until earlier today, while trying to not regurgitate the yucky lunch I was having. Maybe there’s truth to it. I am being a little lazy? I have been slacking in many ways, relatively. I have the luxury of time these days, but I do nothing (other than rolling chapatis 3-4 times a week).

To all this, I had one very good excuse. I was still settling in a new country. That takes time, right? Duhhh. But, if I must be honest, I was already well-adjusted at work. And, really, it just feels like I live in an alternate universe where Malaysia has better public transportation and crappy banking app. Everything else feels the same? So, that excuse went down the drain now because transition was smooth.

The whole point to this is that I realized, that sometimes, in life, we might need someone who gives us a reality check. To be that mirror reflecting on things you and I would delusional-y ignore or avoid. Fortunately (sometimes unfortunately), that person for me is The Mister.

I realized how this is a sticky situation, because that means, mostly, I cannot get away with pity or long-winded stories with The Mister. He points out things as they are, and that’s just not so romantic, I must say.

Sometimes, I get oh-so-defensive about the little stuffs, but when I’m all alone eating yucky lunch (yucky lunch is an important variable, you guys!), his valid points somehow make sense.

Sometimes, I get that much defensive, that I make it a point to prove against whatever he has said. Like today, I am writing a blog post while eating fruit salad for dinner, after a 3.2 km run on a weekday!

Lazy, who? Sorry?

WhatsApp Image 2019-04-12 at 8.13.30 PM
I managed to run that same route, TWICE, today.

BUT, I have to also confess, I needed motivation to complete my mission; so I consoled myself that if I did run better, I would give me a reward. So……

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No, I’m not eating fruit salad for dinner. Korean Fried Chicken! ❤

[8/30] Has Smartphones & SocMed Made Us Less Socially-Sensitive?

Microblog, Thoughts, , ,

Regardless of age and background, we see EVERYONE hooked up to their smartphones anywhere and anytime. This newfound connectivity to the world has probably blinded us from basic etiquettes. In some instances, I find that people are so ignorant about what is okay and what is not, when it comes to using smartphones and social media platforms.

Some time ago, I scrolled down my Facebook feed to find a post by one of my friends, about her literally dying father. She had posted a video of her father, bedridden, just about to be unplugged of his life support. ‘He passed a few minutes later.’, she mentioned at the end of the post. People taking pictures of their unconscious loved ones in hospital, live streaming the final rites of a funeral are all far too common these days. Other things that I find questionable (or get very annoyed at) are browsing through social media, or even just playing with your phones in the cinema. We disregard the comfort of other audiences with the light from our screens because everyone else are also using their phones?

We watch videos out loud in public places. We take pictures of random cute toddlers unbeknown to their guardians. We screenshot pictures of a ‘good-looking’ person to circulate (who am I kidding, to sexualize la) in WhatsApp groups – uploading a picture on social media DOES NOT EQUAL granting permission for every idiot to download the picture!

So much for freedom of speech, we misunderstand that mean comments and cuss words are approved. A pregnant social media influencer does a photoshoot with heels, and every Tom, Dick and Harry (or Jane, Jill and Jennifer, if you’re that kinda feminist), goes on to comment of how she was being irresponsible and could hurt herself and her baby. Celebrities probably have it worse – everything one say or do comes under scrutiny.

Recently, I read the most hilarious response from the South Indian actor, Siddharth to one such know-it all – who reprimanded the actor for saying RIP instead of Om Shanti in his tweet regarding  passing of a renowned lyricist.

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I literally LOL-ed at his response – well deserved!

Ten years back, these situations would have been considered outrageously insensible. Just because we have the means to take these pictures and videos, or type comments at so much convenience, we forget that there should be some boundary (and possibly a little common sense).

There is no definite guideline to what can or cannot be done. But sometimes, maybe we should all take a step back and be more mindful about how we use our smartphones.

Twisting wise words from Spiderman, ‘With a  techie phone, comes great responsibility.’

What else, in your opinion, is unacceptable when it comes to social media and smartphones? Do share your thoughts with me! 🙂

Note : This blog post is part of my 30 Days Microblog Challenge which I began in September 2018 (and continued in November, because I left it at Day 7 in September!). To read more from this series, you can select ‘Microblog’ under Category. Or, search for #therainbowhatmicroblogs on Instagram. 🙂 Topics for this series are a mix of my own brainchild and prompts from my Insta-friends.

[7/30] The Moving Cheese

Microblog, Thoughts, , ,

If I am a philosophical and oh-so cliché type, I would start this post by saying ‘Change is the only constant.’. But I would not do that, obviously. *inserts hahaa!* Fair to say, I have not gone through major unexpected events in life (I have seen people had it worst). As I thought about writing this, it came to me that I could classify the changes that happened to me into two; 1) Expected, generic changes and 2) Conscious change – when I made up my mind to change something.

Honestly speaking, tougher of the two is making a conscious decision to change. I’m not going to lie, I have had my fair share of struggles with this. Be it leaving a relatively well-paid job to join a graduate trainee program, enrolling in postgraduate studies full time while working a full-time job, moving on from the worst mistake of my life, and even deciding to stop sucking my fingers and scarring my forehead, it was all WORK. What helped me most in these transitions are three things, conscious self-reminder to be resilient, supportive circle of close knits and lots of information.

  1. Resilience

Resilience, I think, is something that we must work on. In the face of challenges or adversities, don’t uggghhh too soon. Be solution-focused instead of problem focused (I’m working on this!). December last year, I discovered this book called ‘Who Moved My Cheese’ by Spencer Johnson. I liked this book so much that I bought 3 copies of the book for my friends. It is a story of 2 mice and 2 people who live a in maze, looking for cheese – I bet you’d find it an easy read.

  2.    Seek for Support

Always confide in and discuss your thoughts with people you’re close with. I was lucky enough that I’ve had people around me knocking my head, slapping me with hard reality and being supportive sweethearts. Don’t beta yourself up feeling weak, because sometimes we all need *sings* somebody to lean on!

  3.    Gather Information

Look for enough information about the situation that has changed. I am big on researching, no matter how petty a matter is. It is always consoling to understand what you’re going to face (are facing) especially if it’s a new job, new project or even a new romantic partner. If research tells you no-good news, then at least you know now! Be prepared for the worst – this goes back to #1, be resilient.

When I gradually stopped my skin-picking habit (I self-diagnosed myself with skin-picking disorder  before my dermatologist did! See, research helps.), I was not used to looking at my face without that scar on my forehead. Some days, I’d just pick on my skin at the same spot, just to feel that comfort (stop rolling your eyes, Mister!). That’s how changes haunt us sometimes, like something’s not right. BUT, it’s just a phase, you’d get through it. Because… change is the only constant! 😉

Note : This blog post is part of my 30 Days Microblog Challenge which I began in September 2018. To read more from this series, you can select ‘Microblog’ under Category. Or, search for #therainbowhatmicroblogs on Instagram. 🙂 Topics for this series are a mix of my own brainchild and prompts from my Insta-friends.

3 Reasons Why I Left My Job in an MNC

Thoughts, Work Life, ,

A couple of weeks back, on 4th June 2018, at about 6.30 pm, I walked across Operations, IT, HR, (a bridge), Finance and big bosses’ offices, and then, down two flights of stairs to thumb out for the last time in an MNC that I had worked for the past year and half. Okay laa, I’m just this ‘extra’ as a person that I had to describe it as I did. So, it was my last day at work, at my first ‘real’ job. I was nothing but all smiles! I was just glad to drive out of the premise.

No, I hadn’t had that much of a terrible experience in this MNC. In fact, I made so many good friends and had learned a lot there (including expanding my Mandarin vocabulary). I was just all happy about this first ‘adult’ decision I made, in contrary of what others had suggested (I did not have another job on the day I tendered my resignation – not that I recommend it, anyways). This wasn’t something I did in a spur of the moment, or in haste. I had thought and discussed about it long enough that all my friends were probably just impatient if I would just-resign-already-laa! *moment of silence for those who had to endure my whining* 😛 So, here are three reasons why I left my job at the said MNC.

1. I disliked my job scope. 

You see, this was my first job. I had applied for a different position during the application process. I was then notified that there was another vacancy, and if I was interested. I jumped at it. Even during the interview, I did not ask enough of the job scope. On my first couple of days, I was tasked to separate and process a bundle of pending invoices (I honestly thought that was going to be sole job). Then, I abruptly was trusted upon other tasks, which included purchasing waste bins, arranging waste bins and printing out labels for the waste bins. I hated it! Sure, I learned other valuable things like Management System, and environmental legal stuffs, amongst others. But the waste bins drove me crazy. Imagine when people started calling you ‘Waste Specialist’, and it felt like a knife driven through your heart. Oh, I hated reviewing procedures too.

rQIfifj
My daily mantra, unfortunately, became this!

Moral of the Story : Ask about your job scope in detail during interview. 

2. I dreaded the workload. And I dreaded how helpless I felt about it. 

You see (idk why you’ll have to see all the time, but you see la huh), turnover is quite noticeably high at the MNC I had worked for. Specifically, in the particular section I was in, it was probably even more serious. In 1.5 years, I had seen resignation of 3 Executives and 1 Non-Executive. That meant over 6 months of doing almost everything on my own. I had not known enough to voice out my helplessness. I wanted to try completing it all, until I started drowning in the pile. I wasn’t asking for help, because that’ll make me look incompetent. I whined all day, but I never said anything to the person who was giving me the tasks. I went to work on Sundays during my semester break, I stayed back late, I missed dinners, I wept in the parking, and the only time I said anything about it was the day I tendered my resignation.

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Picture of me at work, circa March 2018. 

Moral of the Story : If you have genuine feedbacks about work, give them to your superior. 

3. I disliked the leadership. 

You see (hahaaaa, this was on purpose, sorry I’ve been weirdly funny ever since I became jobless), I liked my superior as a person, as a colleague. But their leadership made me dread every morning’s alarm. In my early days of working, I went to work as early as 6.30 a.m. I had stopped going in early since an incident in September last year that got me weeping like a cry baby (like one, because I’m not one, mind you!) as early as 7.30 a.m. I despised getting WhatsApp messages on non-working hours (Dear boss, please don’t misuse the app laaa.. I don’t want to be asked anything on a hot Sunday afternoon, while I’m trying to focus in a terribly difficult class). I despised longgggggggg (does this justify how its length?) discussions that took place in the morning. I despised the nagging. I despised that despite knowing that I was right, but being told I was wrong because they were confused about the matter. I despised the book slamming, hard clicking on the keyboard, the grunts, growls and changing decisions. But. I never gave the feedback to the this person. Because, I didn’t want to be added in to their (her) list of Pampered Gen Y who wanted to be treated like royalty at work.

8PjP
This shouldn’t be the way, but this was how it was? 

All the above said, I’m more than glad and grateful for all the experiences gained, and friendships forged there. I had the best group of colleagues, both in my department, and in other departments who made my survival last as long as it did. Thank you for lending your ears, mostly! ❤ 🙂

4 Thoughts We All Have As The Year Ends

Festives, Thoughts, ,

2017 is coming to an end, and almost abruptly so, don’t you think? Facebook and Instagram has been bugging and nudging to show us our Best Moments of 2017. As you look at the pictures, Tsunami of memories come flooding your way. As 2017 bids us farewell in just over a day, I thought I’ll write something that’s inspired by the year end vibes. So, here are some thoughts we all have at some point during year end season :

Where did the time go?

Is it just me, or someone has been seriously tampering with Time? Where did 2017 go? It feels like just yesterday when I was joyously (too much la kan, but teachers used to say adjectives got extra marks, so I use laa ah) rolling in bed, thinking that here’s to a year where I become a full-fledged adult. Apparently, adulthood means living your life in a day-to-day routine, not even realising how time slipped by. At this rate, the next time I am conscious of what month it is, I will probably be looking in the mirror, freaking out about grey hairs and wrinkles on my face.

So, every now and then, we’d better stop watching YouTube videos on autoplay, and start thinking about life. *clears throat* ‘Twas a note to self.

Time

Resolutions, or No Resolutions? 

Yes, I am one of those people who diligently sit their bum down as New Year dawns, to write resolutions for the year. I have been writing down my resolutions ever since I read The Last Lecture (if you haven’t read the book, and want a shortcut, you could just watch the real lecture here. It’s a video of just a little over an hour). You pick a goal, make a plan, start January off on track and yet, come next December, you’re making the exact same New Year’s resolution all over again (no, consistency is NOT key in this situation). Some say new year’s resolutions shouldn’t be a thing, some say, why not. I think it’s Law of Attraction. If you truly believe something, maybe the Universe would conspire to make it work for you.

Effective Next Year

For a Master Procrastinator like yours truly, New Year is the perfect excuse to conveniently (and shamelessly, may I add) throw around to postpone anything and everything in life. Now is the safest time to say, I’ll start afresh next year. So, yes, I want to start eating healthy, go to the gym, pick up my violin again, write more, and sleep less. I will do it next year. 1st January is and would always be the best time to start, right? By now, you’d probably realise how I should be the last person giving you life advice. Heeee.. 

What To Do For Countdown?

It’s a race for the best Insta-story, whether we like it or not. *clears throat* Just know that some people are far ahead of you, with a 48 hours of countdown at Marina Bay Sands. After all, your emotions when midnight strikes on a new year will resonate how your year is going to be, right? For Indian house elves with a 10 pm curfew, we’d resort to watching fireworks through windows of our cosy house. Don’t be a lazy ass and sleep the night off (note to self, again).

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I wish you, (yes, you!) a very happy new year. I’d like to let you know that you made the heart of a small time blogger leap in joy when you clicked open to read this post. May 2018 be the best year you’ve had by far. 😀

Things That Annoys The Ikan Out of Me

Thoughts, ,

Have you ever been in a situation when you simply wanna run your car over someone or you would just want to put a knife through someone’s gut? Okay, not so violent la . But, most of us have those instances when tiniest of things would annoy the fish out of our sane selves.

You see, as much as I’m not a very choosy or particular person (I’m very low maintenance like that laa),  I’m so easily annoyed that I can even write a blog post out of it. So, here it goes, some of my pet peeves, which you possibly (hopefully) could relate to as well :

1.Indecisiveness

It usually starts with ‘Where to eat?‘, ‘What to eat?‘ then to “Where to sit in the restaurant?’. Inside my head, I’m basically restricting myself from turning Hulk. I hate it when I have to walk 6000 steps before deciding on a makan place. I’d get silently very annoyed if people weigh their options too long (my time frame is 10 minutes max), before buying something. Although I almost always regret buying things without much consideration, I just don’t like when someone get too analytical before they buy or do something.

DamnShame
My alter ego : Dey, just pick one! Please!

2. Mistake of Race, Religion, Ethnicity, Language

Ignorant Person A : Eh, you Malayalee right? Don’t celebrate Deepavali ah?

Ignorant Person B : I’m not Chinese, I’m Christian.

Ignorant Person C : My uncle’s neighbour got married to an English woman last week. I’m Eurasian now.

Ignorant Person D : You know how to speak Indian ah? Yes, I even speak tosai and chutney. 

To the above people, sorry, but you should’ve paid more attention to Standard 2 Moral Studies. Not too late, still can use Google to find out about these.

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It’s not rocket science is it?

3. Basic Linguistic Mistakes

I get very annoyed reading when  the words like you’re, your, life, their, there, they’re, live, life – are used in the wrong context. You see, I’m not like the Goddess of English Grammar (I judge correctness of language by how it sounds, if sounds okay means correct la). But sometimes it’s like people don’t even bother to correct themselves with these words. Another thing that annoys me is when UTPians type/write University Teknology Petronas, or Universiti Technology of Petronas.

TOLONG LA! It’s Universiti Teknologi PETRONAS or Universiti Teknologi Petronas. Simple, right? If you insist to translate a proper noun, then I’d humbly like to request you to translate your Indian name in English and Malay respectively. Can ah?

4. When The Mister is Happy* (whilst I’m not having fun)

Yes, you read that right. You see, I’m generally a very nice person *clears throat*. Unless you’re my boyfriend and you’re having fun while I’m busy getting my assignment done. It makes me oh-so-annoyed, that I’d turn into this girlfriend from hell.

Okay, maybe that didn’t come across too well? Let me put it like this. When you’re really really attached to this person, you tend to think that your life is integrated with theirs. Which means, if you’re up all night studying, you’d expect him to live the bore life too? I’m being overly honest here, aren’t I? Fine, I’ll say it. I kinda get annoyed if people have some fun without me. *pulls up blanket to hide the shame*

what-about-me-bff-jealous
When I’m not in the Happy Equation 😛

5. People Throwing Rubbish Out of Their Cars

If only I had the courage of a knight, I’d chase down every idiot who throws rubbish out of their vehicles whilst on the road, and knock them on their dumb heads. But like a true millennial, I don’t try to act heroic and all. I just tweet and whine about it on social media.  But like WHY! Can’t you wait till you reach your destination before you throw that tissue paper? Would that McDonald’s take away bag bite your ears if you kept them in the car before throwing into the dustbin later?

I don’t know why, but it’s almost always people with the more expensive vehicle who’re throwing rubbish out of their cars. I see it almost daily in MRR2 on my way to work. You idiots are one of the reasons of flash flood (but you, the one who’s reading this, I’d never call you an idiot, no! heee..)

As I sat down to write this, I thought I’d never go past #3. But here I am, full of emotions, actually feeling all the annoyance as I type this blog post out. Looks like my list of pet peeves is longer than I thought. Other things that annoy me include :

  • When people think I won a technical essay competition because my ‘English is good.’ or that I got an A for projects/reports because my ‘English is good’. Boo you for saying that to me! My heart cried a little, you know.
  • When people don’t let an immature driver like me to switch lanes

I think I’d better stop now before my keyboard gets annoyed with intense typing.

So, could you relate to any of these at all? Do let me know in the comments. 😀

Credit : A tiny part of the content of this blog post was the brainchild of The Mister who’s the future author of a possibly bestselling book entitled ‘Ultimate Guide to Annoy Your Girlfriend’. 

A Letter to My Younger Self (s)

Life, Thoughts, ,

Dear 4 Year Old Self,

Remember that night, when we were in the car heading to grandparents’ in Bahau. You were fast asleep in the car, when the Acca suddenly pressed the brake. You fell down, and hit your face on the car seat, and you cried in pain. Acca said,  a cow drove recklessly. You just nodded, and sat through the rest of the journey imagining a 4 legged animal driving a red car. A driving cow made your lips bleed.

No, Thara. Cows don’t drive cars. And the Moon doesn’t play hide and seek with you.

Dear 8 Year Old Self,

Remember that girl in school everyone made fun of, because she wasn’t quite right in the head? You too, did the same. You used to walk away if she sat somewhere near you inthe canteen or assembly. You thought she smelled funny. You even laughed about it with your friends. But she was always smiling, greeting everyone. Until, one day, she just wasn’t coming to school anymore. Teachers said she shifted to a different school, with a special class.

A few years later, you’ll see her, clad in secondary school uniform, walking with her mother by the road.  She smiles as she walked by. You sat in the car, with heaved heart and teary eyes. She was just trying to make friends. You should’ve been nice.

Dear 12 Year Old Self,

You thought you had it all. In fact, you felt superior to your peers. You were the school topper, Head Prefect, and you knew that the 2005 Tokoh Pelajar Award had your name written all over it. You enjoyed being in the limelight. And you just knew, you were destined for bigger things.

You didn’t know then that all the medals and certificates you took pride in would mean nothing to your purpose in life. And do not lend your books, especially Harry Potter to others! It’s funny how you were so clueless, yet confident and snobby.

Dear 16 Year Old Self,

By now, you learned that the world revolves around everything, but only you. When you get your exam results, you convince yourself, if you could do this good even without even trying hard, imagine what could happen if you worked as hard. That’s your recent area of expertise. To convince yourself, to come up with reasons and excuses. You aren’t doing as good you ought to, but you aren’t doing bad either? You had great friends, you were in the Top 10. You’ve still got some limelight, although you’re not in centre stage.

You just know that if only you put in some work, you’ll ace many things in life. Well, lemme just tell you, you never got around doing much. Neither did you become a freelance writer, nor did you become a Toastmaster. Nope, not even a scholarship. Maybe, I was meant to be just an average kinda person? Good bye, 12 Year Old Thara.

Dear 20 Year Old Self, 

One day, the only friend from school that you have on campus told you, ‘You’ve changed ahhh’. You used to put yourself first, before anything else’. Her words would be a knock in your head, how you used to love yourself. You would never do anything to harm/hurt your precious self. But you chose to ignore, just brushing off her comments. You just chose to not see things as they were. You got name called behind your back. People were talking. You were just not bothered. After all, they don’t know what was the real situation.

You were just covering up with other good things. You had just won a national competition. You were reading more than before. Your grades were falling, but you could do better if only you tried right? Just so you know, you were wrong. You should’ve listened to your sane self. Oh, and that boy who bought you soup noodles when you were sick? He will mean more to you, than just a friend with car.

Dear Me-Now,

Every bit of experiences you’ve had, has made you the person that you are now. That said, none of those define who you will be as a person. Maybe it’s time you dig up all your To-Do’s and little projects you had in mind, and get started.

No, you don’t need 12 hours of sleep on the only weekend you’ll have off until the semester’s over in January. You got this, girl!

Turning 24

Thoughts, ,

Note: Blogging since 2008, and I’ve never written a birthday post for myself. So, this is pretty much just me talking to myself. Psssss.. I’d let you listen too. 

On the eve of my birthday, I laid in bed just wildly imagining if my life would take a drastic turn as clock ticked to mark my birthday. You see, as much engineering school teaches one to think with logic and facts, I sometimes (okay, more times that I’d like to admit la) fail at it. I’m one of those delusional types who let her mind wander nonsensically, and reading fictions has only worsened it. I diligently set my alarm at 6.15 a.m., so that I don’t miss out on the exact moment I turn 24.

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This is how I pictured myself waking up, turning 24 and all, you see.

The alarm rang. It was dark, and nothing seems to be happening. I rubbed around my to find my glasses, because maybe my poor vision was distracting that ‘something’ from happening. I put my glasses on, and still, nothing happened. I just twisted and turned until I was completely awake. And then reality hit me. I was taking this little game far too seriously, wasn’t I? It really didn’t mean much, to want to be awake at the exact moment I turned 24. I just shook the thought out of my mind, quite literally so, and resumed my slumber.

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Pictured above is a hidden camera footage of how I fell back to sleep.

Reminiscing all the above after about 2 weeks since it happened, it dawns upon me how much I’m still so same and different at the same time. I still make up little pretence games, get paranoid over unanswered phone calls (limited persons only) and tear up when I’m actually angry. But, I’ve also changed so much!

10 years back, I was at least 15 kilograms lighter, and thought I’d never grow my hair beyond my collar (so that I won’t have to tie it). That obviously changed, because, now, I am at my (psssss.. *whispers*) heaviest weight and longest hair ever since Amma pushed me out. I’m far more emotional these days, when back in the days, I couldn’t care less. I used to have many friends, but I barely made an attempt then. Now, I sometimes make an attempt, but I have far less friends. What used to be limitless hopes and exciting dreams are now trimmed bucket lists, hidden somewhere in a box on my bookshelves.

Okay, maybe this all sounds too miserable now. I’m actually doing fine. It’s just that all the birthday game got into my head a lot more than little. This is simply a self reflection. A reminder to myself to stop spending too much time with my BFF whose name is Sleep. To those of you eavesdropping, let this string of words remind you how all those dreams and hopes you have for yourself still could happen. You just got to start doing something. Even if it means writing a long blog post that probably wouldn’t even mean much to others.

P/s: The last time I saw myself in the mirror, I still don’t look like Rihanna. How long you reckon the full transition will take?