Category Archives: That Time When

Antidote(s) at The Door

I woke up, grateful for a mundane day. Amma called to check on me. I just rolled in bed, for an hour or so after that– meaningless morning blabbers with my e-boyfriend (hassle free subscription service, and premium members get surprise gifts!). It felt like ages since I had the luxury to decide what I wanted to do for the rest of the day.

I watched 2 episodes each of Totally Spies and HTGAWM on Netflix, with breaks to talk to my e-BF, grandparents, Papa & Cherima, and Keshie. Around 4pm, I ordered Chee Cheong Fun (because I was craving for haram food, but, Popiah Bunga Raya was sold out). When I came back in the house, the piling dishes in my kitchen sink guilt tripped me.

Amma called me again, casually asking what I was doing, and kept saying, ‘Ok, bye!’. It lowkey annoyed me, so I told her to keep talking to me. She mumbled something about being tired, and not napping that evening? She was clearly distracted, divided attention between her favourite daughter (hahaa!) and TV. Then the call ended abruptly. I grunted and continued washing my oats-stained mugs.

The doorbell rang… and there they stood! Amma, Acca and Ceci. I did not cry (my sister only took the video expecting tears, but pffftttt!) I just grinned, and really, my heart jumped in joy and grinned wide too.

For context, I should add this next paragraph.

The past four weeks were the toughest times I have endured in my life. I struggled more than I have ever had. I probably never worked as hard, or even had to be that resilient. Like ever. My spirits were not that beaten but trust me when I say that my circadian rhythm was so off-beat that even the world’s best choreographers couldn’t fix it. I barely slept 25 hours a week and came home just to shower after 36-40 hours workday only to return back.

My parents and e-BF were concerned, and behind my back, they discussed how I’m this little monster who gets angry when they don’t wake me up in time after my 2-hour naps, or sometimes, just-angry.

Having gone through that, truly, this was exactly what I needed. People sometimes overly-romanticize about being self-sufficient and independent – but sometimes, all you need is just Ohana. I even went to bed with a grin, knowing my parents were just 10 steps away in the next room.

It dawned upon me – I’m still that shamelessly needy child who told her parents to call her ‘Baby’ as a toddler and asked them to send me birthday cards while in university because it was always Final Exam week.

 I have now rebooted. I have a sparkling clean house and heart full of joy and strength to take on the coming week! *sings Here We Go, Here We Go*

Until Further Notice

I woke up this morning to see the screen of my phone with a pop up from my Countdown app.

‘50 Days till Engagement Day’, it read.

My heart sank a little. Almost in autopilot, I showered, got dressed and turned on my louder than average blender to make breakfast. It was an unsuccessful attempt to drown the gloomy, mehhhhness (I’m pretty sure this is a legit emotion that’s on the List of Human Emotions).

I started scrolling my phone, and the thought just dismissed (if I have to be specific, I watched this video, and got distracted!) 😛

While I was at work, the thought of my now-postponed-engagement crept back to mind, and I sent a screenshot of the countdown to my Free Therapist a.k.a The Mister. His reply was, ‘I want birthday’. The date of our planned engagement coincides with his birthday – and I wasn’t even really thinking about his birthday. Oppsss? Typically, I planned months ahead on lame games, puns and funs for the big baby.

It clicked me how this wasn’t even something worth fretting upon. It wasn’t like I was prohibited to get married to this guy! Our wedding might just happen on the planned date *fingers crossed*.

I mean there are bigger problems in the world – like a pandemic with no vaccine, not-so-great economy, Trump and an incompetent cabinet of ministers in a certain southeast Asia country ruining, sorry, running a government.

I have bigger problems. Piling up workload with urgent deadlines. Or, the fact that I can’t just go home to see my parents whenever I want. Or, that it’s been over 60 days since I had seen my groom.

So, I chose to just write a blog post about this unnecessary emotion– and then, let it go!

I’m going to end this post with a reminder how we used to be a decent looking duo in traditional outfits – and truth be told, now we’re both *coughs* very far from looking half as good. I guess the postponement is somewhat a blessing in disguise, eh?

Once Upon a Time in Ipoh ❤