Category Archives: That Time When

Baby Bump & Good News (Not)

Life, That Time When, Thoughts, ,

Nobody prepared me for this. This, being the period from when you’re married and yet to deliver good news.

No, good news isn’t when you accomplish things at work and get recognitions. Good news has nothing to do with enjoying yourself on long-planned dream trip with your best-friend cum halal-husband. It’s also not good-enough-news when Red Devils won a Derby match, which you paid for heftily to watch in Old Trafford. GGMU – yay, nevertheless.

So, I’m writing this as a wedding gift to all new and not-so-new brides; inspired by very true stories. Oh yes, this is a click-bait. 😛

Baby Bump

On a very rare occasion that I did wear a dress to work – I chose to style it up a little, with a belt around my not-so-flat tummy. I was at a celebration with my friends & colleagues from my former plant. For context, I’ve not met anyone since my wedding since I relocated to across the Causeway.

Mr Hong Kong Man (in a very sweet tone) : Awwww, Thara – is that a baby bump, I see?

Me : Ermmm, hi Mr Hong Kong Man! Very nice to see you! Noooooooooo. I just found lots of places to eat in Singapore. (wide grin, high pitch laugh)

Mr Hong Kong Man : ………… Oh no! I’m so sorry! …. *more awkward silence – until I ran away to someplace I was not needed*

Poor Mr Hong Kong Man, I’m pretty sure he’s now traumatized for life. This was so hilarious because it really did seem to scar him more than me. This is someone that I really like & look up to. I’m thinking that I should meet him when I do get pregnant, just when I’m about to pop so that we can try the aforementioned conversation again – you know, for redemption.

Lesson #1 : Gain weight at your own risk post wedding – as it’s trickier to navigate. I’m also obliged to say, as a responsible writer-wannabe, take care of your health. I’m a hypocrite – work in progress.

Notes to self, 1) Either stick to my workout plan or get pregnant this year, whichever attainable. 2) Look in the mirror & ask myself, ‘Do I look pregnant in this?’.

Good News

On a not-so-fine day at work, I was getting bad refluxes which then exponentially got worse throughout the day making me puke multiple times. My engineer-turned-doctor work friends were troubleshooting me like any good professional would. They deduced as a matter of fact, that it can’t be food poisoning as I had same meals as The Mister, and he seemed fine.

Colleague L : You sure it’s not any good news?

Colleague A : I was about to say the same! Which is why I was asking the questions to be sure first.

To be honest, at this point, even I was like – is this it? It was as if Tsunami hit my brain. TMI – I know, but I checked, not once but twice.

Days later, my in-house Sherlock solved the case. I had greedily eaten a day’s old Roti Boy that I got from Ipoh without sharing with The Mister. Apparently, I ate the bun in two big bites as The Mister watched me from the other room, while I evil laughed at him. While I believe there may be some exaggeration to how I consumed the Roti Boy – it was crystal clear, what it was just that, a food poisoning.

Lesson #2 : If you’re about to eat old food, share it with someone (preferably your husband if you have one) for scientific reasons. Make sure you are able to recount all your meals for better data in case you need to be diagnosed for food poisoning – to avoid false alerts.

Good News (MVP)

While many people have asked me about good news in different tones, I have a notable winner who’s worth the honorable mention, from my temple visit last week.

Mr Kooky : Eppo pethu poda pore, un Appaku vilayada? (Translation : When are you giving birth, for your father to play with (the grandchild)?)

Me : Uhmmmmmm. Coming soon, Uncle.

Mr Kooky : It’s the circle of life. Finish it this year. Then continue, go for Number 2,3,4,5.

Me : *very very very awkward laugh, while the brain is hit with another Tsunami* Ok Uncle. Take care.

Lesson #3 : If you know the question is coming, like a responsible adult – run away!

Disclaimer :

This was written in humour & not to hurt anyone. Good news has been somehow theme of many of the conversations that I’ve been having in recent times. Please, do ask me about the good news – I’ll even send my Excel for better reference (seriously).

What I Learned from Losing My Car

Life, That Time When, ,

I was on the phone with The Mister when my heart skipped multiple beats as I saw the empty parking lot where my car supposed to be parked. I exclaimed, ‘The car’s not here!’.

I was borderline frantic – ‘I couldn’t have parked anywhere else! This is where I park day in and out!’, I said in annoyance and anger when The Mister suggested if I had parked elsewhere. I walked rather clumsily down the slope to a lower level, and still no car.

The Mister probably thought, here we go, another Thara-moment but he calmly and courteously told me to try look in the level above my designated parking spot.

There, it was – clamped, because I had parked at another resident’s spot for three full days. After burning a RM200 hole in my pocket, unclamping and moving back the car where it belonged, I gave this incident a long thought.

A colleague turned friend pointed out, ‘Really, you thought it was stolen? Like what are the chances, considering the security and downright better options for cars to be hijacked at your place!’. Right – my logic reasoning must’ve shut-off involuntarily. Why was I even annoyed at The Mister for trying to suggest I look at a different level.

The great Master Oogway is absolutely right – ‘The mind is like water. When agitated, it becomes difficult to see. But if you allow it to settle, the answer becomes clear.’ Someone quoted this to me several months back, and suddenly it clicked to me. This has been the evil root to most of my tribulations, especially professionally, in the past year.

I got worked up unnecessarily. And man, was it exhaustive to live a life (read: work life) constantly in anger, dissatisfaction and having to be defensive. Although it was generally situations worth frowning upon, in some instances, there were simpler solutions and things were not that big of a deal as I’d thought.

I looked at it all as a big mountain to conquer, and lost myself in a massive plane crash of To-Do lists in my brain with emotional thunderstorms. These days I’m more (trying to be) calm and I look at things rather objectively.

This write up may not be one that you expected, a funny anecdote of how I lost my car. This is simply a reminder to myself (and others) who need to hear this : When it seems like the sky is falling on you, just take a step back, calm the shit down and look at the bigger picture. Don’t bark at people who’re simply trying to be of help. You’ll figure it out.

Also looking for career alternatives – you think I got what it takes to be a new age therapist. Hit me up for unsolicited advices and hard truths about life, Asian style.

Antidote(s) at The Door

Life, That Time When, ,

I woke up, grateful for a mundane day. Amma called to check on me. I just rolled in bed, for an hour or so after that– meaningless morning blabbers with my e-boyfriend (hassle free subscription service, and premium members get surprise gifts!). It felt like ages since I had the luxury to decide what I wanted to do for the rest of the day.

I watched 2 episodes each of Totally Spies and HTGAWM on Netflix, with breaks to talk to my e-BF, grandparents, Papa & Cherima, and Keshie. Around 4pm, I ordered Chee Cheong Fun (because I was craving for haram food, but, Popiah Bunga Raya was sold out). When I came back in the house, the piling dishes in my kitchen sink guilt tripped me.

Amma called me again, casually asking what I was doing, and kept saying, ‘Ok, bye!’. It lowkey annoyed me, so I told her to keep talking to me. She mumbled something about being tired, and not napping that evening? She was clearly distracted, divided attention between her favourite daughter (hahaa!) and TV. Then the call ended abruptly. I grunted and continued washing my oats-stained mugs.

The doorbell rang… and there they stood! Amma, Acca and Ceci. I did not cry (my sister only took the video expecting tears, but pffftttt!) I just grinned, and really, my heart jumped in joy and grinned wide too.

For context, I should add this next paragraph.

The past four weeks were the toughest times I have endured in my life. I struggled more than I have ever had. I probably never worked as hard, or even had to be that resilient. Like ever. My spirits were not that beaten but trust me when I say that my circadian rhythm was so off-beat that even the world’s best choreographers couldn’t fix it. I barely slept 25 hours a week and came home just to shower after 36-40 hours workday only to return back.

My parents and e-BF were concerned, and behind my back, they discussed how I’m this little monster who gets angry when they don’t wake me up in time after my 2-hour naps, or sometimes, just-angry.

Having gone through that, truly, this was exactly what I needed. People sometimes overly-romanticize about being self-sufficient and independent – but sometimes, all you need is just Ohana. I even went to bed with a grin, knowing my parents were just 10 steps away in the next room.

It dawned upon me – I’m still that shamelessly needy child who told her parents to call her ‘Baby’ as a toddler and asked them to send me birthday cards while in university because it was always Final Exam week.

 I have now rebooted. I have a sparkling clean house and heart full of joy and strength to take on the coming week! *sings Here We Go, Here We Go*

Until Further Notice

That Time When, Wedding,

I woke up this morning to see the screen of my phone with a pop up from my Countdown app.

‘50 Days till Engagement Day’, it read.

My heart sank a little. Almost in autopilot, I showered, got dressed and turned on my louder than average blender to make breakfast. It was an unsuccessful attempt to drown the gloomy, mehhhhness (I’m pretty sure this is a legit emotion that’s on the List of Human Emotions).

I started scrolling my phone, and the thought just dismissed (if I have to be specific, I watched this video, and got distracted!) 😛

While I was at work, the thought of my now-postponed-engagement crept back to mind, and I sent a screenshot of the countdown to my Free Therapist a.k.a The Mister. His reply was, ‘I want birthday’. The date of our planned engagement coincides with his birthday – and I wasn’t even really thinking about his birthday. Oppsss? Typically, I planned months ahead on lame games, puns and funs for the big baby.

It clicked me how this wasn’t even something worth fretting upon. It wasn’t like I was prohibited to get married to this guy! Our wedding might just happen on the planned date *fingers crossed*.

I mean there are bigger problems in the world – like a pandemic with no vaccine, not-so-great economy, Trump and an incompetent cabinet of ministers in a certain southeast Asia country ruining, sorry, running a government.

I have bigger problems. Piling up workload with urgent deadlines. Or, the fact that I can’t just go home to see my parents whenever I want. Or, that it’s been over 60 days since I had seen my groom.

So, I chose to just write a blog post about this unnecessary emotion– and then, let it go!

I’m going to end this post with a reminder how we used to be a decent looking duo in traditional outfits – and truth be told, now we’re both *coughs* very far from looking half as good. I guess the postponement is somewhat a blessing in disguise, eh?

Once Upon a Time in Ipoh ❤